Ruby messages me and asks if I want to hang out later. Of course I wanna hang out with her, duh. That’s Ruby. Slow on the uptake. Paranoid about all the wrong things. Paranoid about people leaving her, people trying to fuck her, people wanting to do any damn thing to her. I’ve seen the way she walks in the street, in Metro stations. It doesn’t take much to make her miss a step, to make her shift her hands in front of her body. I guess she thinks she’s protecting herself. She makes herself more vulnerable, not less.
Like at the parties her old flatmates used to throw, when she would take ecstasy, before they put her on SSRIs and she had to stop rolling, there would always be a point where she would stand up, leave the room, and go to bed. I would follow after a while, go in and sit on the end of her bed and talk to her. It helps that we’re both comic book geeks. I would sit there and talk to her about She-Hulk or Squirrel Girl and she’d listen, sip water, and laugh.
When Ruby laughs, it’s the best thing in the world. She has a big, high laugh, like what you’ve just said to her is the funniest thing that she’s heard. Which, in that moment, just might be true. I’ve watched really bad comedies with that bitch.
I’ve watched films that aren’t comedies with her. That bitch will laugh at the weirdest shit. Like that Nic Cage movie about the end of the world? Not the one based on those Bible books, the one where the sun explodes at the end or whatever. Nic Cage discovers this is going to happen because he notices people keep writing shit with patterns of numbers in which predict how many people are going to die in various disasters. For some reason, I can’t remember why, he goes to some fuckin shack in the middle of nowhere and he finds some more of these fuckin calculations, like who knows what this shit actually says, it’s probably the chemical formula for the McRib or something, but he finds a bunch of these calculations carved into the back of a door because that’s how I show my working, I don’t know about you, and at the end of the calculations it just says EVERYONE.
Ruby laughed her head off at that bit. She saw it in the cinema, before I came over here. She says she laughed her head off and then she realised she was the only one laughing.
Ruby thinks that she looks ugly when she smiles. In her selfies she does a little half-smile, something to make her lips look good, to widen her eyes, but she thinks when she actually breaks out into a big goofy grin she looks ugly.
Ruby’s as stupid as fuck. I love making her laugh. I love making her smile.
I love scaring her. Does that sound mean? Just jump-scares, you know. Leaping out from behind a door and saying boo. Pretending to kick her, or punch her. That does sound kind of mean, I guess, but it’s hard to explain. She laughs afterward. She smiles, she looks relieved. It’s our thing. We flirt by fighting.
One time, I was sitting on the mattress with Jean and Ruby was eating a cake or something, she had a small plate she was eating it off. She put it down on the desk and I told her to put it in the kitchen. She said make me. So I stood up and I grabbed her hair and I marched her to the kitchen and I said listen, wench, when I tell you to do something you fucking do it when I say. She was glowing for the rest of the night. Hardly said a word. But you could tell she liked it by how much she was smiling. She was smiling from the inside. She looked beautiful.
She’s not over until five. That gives me time to shower.
I have a waterproof case for my phone, so I always take it with me. Ruby thinks this is weird. She says it shows that for all the fact there’s only six years between us, we’re like different generations. I say that’s bullshit, I just spent my teens figuring out how to do shit with computers instead of listening to fucking Elgar and writing bad poetry but she insists it’s ‘cause she’s older. I think she has a thing about that. She’s haunted by the fact that she’s the same age now as her first girlfriend was, back when she was still pretending to be a dude. She keeps talking about people wanting her to be their Mrs Robinson, and how she’s not sure how she feels about that. I say go with it. MILFs are hot.
I pick up my phone and I’m about to hit the shower when I remember we bought new poppers yesterday, the strong ones from the sex shop in the village. I get them out of the fridge, grab a towel and get into the shower.
Yeah, I’m naked. It’s my flat. I like to stay unclothed for as much of the day as I can.
Ruby does not get this. The only place that bitch is ever naked is the shower. She’s a minimiser, a dick-ignorer. She told me once she will go to a lot of trouble to make sure she doesn’t see her dick, even when she jerks off, because if she sees it, instant shrinkage. She mimed the way she jerks off for me once: she lies on her back and she treats it as much like a clit as she can.
If Ruby wasn’t so fat she would have had her bits done already, I think. I don’t care about mine. If anything it’s a selling point. Guys like it. You know how many dudes are secretly praying for a woman who can blast them in the ass. But then I like dick in general. Ruby’s more particular. She’ll suck flesh but she much prefers plastic.
We went to a hotel in town once and I offered to let her use my glass piece in the shower. I don’t think she did. It probably felt weird to her, sharing a dildo when we’re not exactly girlfriends. I don’t mind, really. She invited me.
I stand outside the shower while I turn the water on. I hate being under it at first, when it’s still cold. I hold my hand under the stream ‘til it starts turning hot and I get in. God it feels so good, the water on my naked skin.
I’m high right now. I didn’t say, but you should assume I’m high at all times unless otherwise informed. Not massively so – just a bit of a buzz – but I’m maybe a little higher than normal right now because I like to be high in the shower. I like to be blazed while I get wet. It feels so good, the stream, the pressure, the air and steam around me. I pull up Spotify on my phone and then look at my tumblr. Captain Marvel. She-Hulk. Girls’ butts, girls twerking, cocks, guys fucking. The music is some kind of dance track, a nice groove, good squashy bass and oh God I am so high right now and this
This
Feels
So
Good
and I slide down and sit cross-legged on the floor, my right knee nudging the door to the shower ajar. The lino will get wet but hey, we’re on the ground floor, nothing’s dripping through. It’s fine.
This woman doing bodypainting cosplay keeps showing up in my tumblr. She looks amazing and she does it so well and she has such. A. Cute. Butt it’s fantastic. I want to paint her, like the girl in The Pillow Book. Naked Ewan McGregor, naked Vivian Wu, naked Chinese and Japanese men, that fat naked American, that creepy old dude, the feel of my pen drawing lines on Jean and Ruby’s skin, your skin is not good paper, and I’m hard right now, feeling the warmth of my dick in my hand and oh, oh, oh the water feels so good and I reach for the poppers and I open them and breathe them in, first one nostril then the other, take a big hit and ah, ah, oh here it
comes and my stomach falls through the basement while my frontal lobes take to the sky and oh it’s like an explosion and I feel so relaxed, so high, and I do it again and
then I reach for the glass piece, decide which way to put it round, the end with the spirals I think and I lap at the edge of my butt with it, tickling myself, teasing myself, before I push up and my ass swallows it, puckers around the glass, still a little bit cold now but warming up, wet, and I pump it in and out with one hand while rubbing my left tit with the other, my tits, Jean’s tits, Ruby’s tits, this girl on tumblr’s tits and oh God I want to suck somebody’s tits, I want to lick somebody’s pussy, want to suck somebody’s cock, I want to take someone inside of me, I want to be inside, I want to be both, get you a man, get you a tran who can do both HA yes a tran who can do both both both both both and ah, and my right hand moving down now, both hands down, one pumping, one pulling, and I’m hard, still hard, and I think I’ll stay hard even if I move my hand away and
reach
for the poppers
again and
AAAAAAAAH yes so good and both my hands go back, pumping, pulling, pushing oh God I can feel it
coming and oh God I’m going to
going to
going to
oh God his butt her cock her tits her costume painted on his tits her cock her smile
her laugh
fucking wench aaaaaaah
oh
my
God
So good. So good. So good.
And it fades and oh the water on my skin and I’m so fucking high and yes. Yes. Yes. So good. So good.
I take a moment. For myself.
My phone says it’s three forty-three. She’ll be over at five.
No comments:
Post a Comment